Faith, Hope and Grace

It's hard to believe that it has been three years now since we lost Faith and Hope. In a sense, it seems like it happened a lifetime ago. But at other times, I can recall those days just like they happened yesterday.

For the first few weeks after our loss, I would replay the events of that day over and over in my mind and just sob. I began to wonder if the day would ever come when I wouldn't relive those hours of unbearable pain and heartache. But by God's mercy and love, as time has passed so has the vividness those memories and the intensity of my grief. I have come to a place where I can think about my girls without always being sad, and can remember with fondness those short but wonderful 21 weeks that I got to spend with them inside me.

On days like Mother's Day, though, my grief begins to resurface because I miss our daughters so much. I desperately wanted to be their mommie, to have them here with me and to watch them grow up. And I grieve the years we tried and tried to have another baby, all the while wondering if I would ever get another chance to be a mom.

But God in His Faithfulness has given us a reason to Hope.

This year He has blessed us with the gift of Grace.

Mike and I have decided to name our precious baby girl Grace Elizabeth. It is a name that we have liked even before I was pregnant with the twins, but it is so fitting and meaningful for this little miracle.

Grace means "Grace of God". God's grace is a gift that we don't deserve, but He freely gives it to His children because of His great love for us. I truly believe that it is only by the God's Grace that we were given this baby girl.

Elizabeth means "God's Promise". In Luke 1:36-37 when the angel appears to Mary he says, "Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God." So while I am not old or completely barren, it has taken us 4 years and a journey though infertility to get us here.

But as the scripture says, and our lives have shown, nothing is impossible with God. And I am so very grateful for what He has done and will do for Mike and me, and for our three girls.