Great Expectations

I know that for the past few weeks I have joked around and tried to make light of what Mike and I are going through to try to have a baby. Because let's just face it, if I can't laugh about it, then I will cry about it. And I'm really tired of crying.


Everything with our IUI last Friday went great. It was exactly the same as the last time we did it; however, the way I feel about it is miles from the same.


You see, back in April when we tried insemination for the first time my expectations weren't all that high. I was 100% confident that an IUI could work, but not that it would work, especially on the first try. That would be way too easy. And things in this department never seem to be easy for us.


But low and behold, it worked. I was pregnant. So now going into Round 2, my expectations are through the roof. I know that it can work and that it should work. But that doesn't mean that it will work. And the let down is going to be so much harder to endure.


And I can't even bring myself to think about a repeat performance of last May. I am so afraid of what the loss of another child might do to me. I seems almost unbearable.


So I hope and I pray (and I know you are too) for good results on Friday. Positive results that stay positive!


But no matter what the results might be, this week or in the months to come, I know this much to be true: The Lord is right here beside me on this journey. He has promised never to leave me nor forsake me. And that brings me so much comfort, especially in these difficult times when each day is a struggle, to know that I am not alone. God is always with me, and with Him, only with Him, I will be able to face whatever may come my way.